Invite to Speak – Thomas Gagliano

Invite to Speak

Family of Origin’s Impact on Adult Intimacy

We are all products of the messages we receive in our lives. None of these messages are as powerful as those we receive in childhood. This presentation focuses on the messages given to us in childhood, verbal and non-verbal, and how they impact the roles one grows up to play and the ways these roles affect one’s intimate relationships. Steps to identify the roles one plays in order to grow as a person will be outlined, as well as the ‘People Pleaser’ and ‘Caretaker’ roles. The challenges associated with these roles, as well as ways to overcome these challenges, will be discussed. Ask yourself, Am I playing a role I was set up to play? Ways to change this dynamic will be detailed in the presentation.

Highlights will be the evaluation of childhood messages and the myths that create them. The attendees will differentiate the ways these negative messages affect their life and worldview in all their relationships. By building self-awareness, one will learn how to make healthier choices that can affect one’s views related to communication, boundary setting, empathy, and self-care.

Learning Objectives:
  1. Participants will be able to identify 3 common dysfunctional messages obtained in childhood.
  2. Participants will be able to identify 3 common mistakes that occurred to create these messages.
  3. Participants will be able to identify 3 ways these messages distort the individual’s ability to listen to their partner’s feedback.
  4. Participants will be able to identify 3 common feelings associated with saying no to their partner.

Healthy Coping Mechanism Regulating Discomfort

Children learn to regulate and resolve their discomfort from their parents. When parents have disagreements, children watch the interaction and create a script of normative behavior. They watch what their parents do in response to the conflict. Do they shut down? Run away? Rage in anger? Children stop trusting their parents as a coping mechanism to the family dysfunction occurring in their environment. These early experiences will shape how children regulate conflict or discomfort into adulthood.

This presentation will also highlight ways an individual can take family conflictual messages and learn how to create healthy coping mechanisms. Focus will be on self-improvement and empowerment to form long-lasting positive social supports. Boundary setting will be highlighted with a focus on appropriate conflict resolution.

Learning Objectives:
  1. Participants will gain 3 strategies to evaluate coping mechanisms to assist in mood self-regulation.
  2. Participants will understand 3 reasons why healthy coping mechanisms connect to healthy prosocial behavior in the world systems the individual is a part of (i.e. school, work, family, social etc.).
  3. Participants will be able to describe 3 areas of self-awareness that can lead to better choices and healthy life habits.

Monitoring Your Inner Critic- Sabotaging Happiness

Healing is an ongoing process of self-awareness and growth. As individuals, we have to look at our own past experiences and heal our wounds of pain and disappointment. We are our own worst critic. Dysfunctional family systems often create negative messages in childhood. Those messages create negative inner voices that stay with us in adulthood. If untreated, these inner voices hinder our growth in adulthood and become our inner critic. The inner critic will sabotage situations and create dysfunction in all social interactions.

This presentation focuses on identifying the inner critic’s messages. It will work on relationship-building in social environments to assist with combating negative messages. It will also assist in changing one’s self-concept to create a positive relationship with oneself. Healing and self-awareness will be discussed, along with key tools of success for maintaining healthy interactions.

Learning Objectives:
  1. Participants will be able to identify 3 inner critic messages.
  2. Participants will be able to recognize 3 ways negative critical messages have affected their dynamics in social relationships.
  3. Participants will be able to identify 3 tools to silence inner critical messages and create positive replacement messages.

Communication and Emotional Intimacy

Lasting relationships begin with healthy conversations where both parties can share their feelings in a safe environment. A safe environment consists of validation, listening skills, and boundaries. This presentation will outline why creating boundaries may be difficult and how to create healthy boundaries that promote emotional intimacy. Internal and external boundaries will be defined. Self-care and its connection to creating healthy intimacy will be highlighted.

The presenter will discuss how the origin of family dynamic messages from childhood and distorted messages connect to intimacy with others. Distorted messages will be a focus of the presentation, as well as how we filter messages to create negative interactions affecting intimacy in our adult life.

Learning Objectives:
  1. Participants will be able to identify 3 ways to create a space for validation, listening skills, and boundaries.
  2. Participants will be able to define internal and external boundaries.
  3. Participants will be able to identify 3 self-care practices to enhance intimacy.
  4. Participants will be able to define and identify message distortions.
  5. Participants will be able to identify 3 ways to filter distorted messages to promote healthy intimacy.

Positive Parenting Tools

Childhood messages are handed down to children by parents. The message may be unconscious. These messages are usually the result of generations of parenting and can at times be dysfunctional. How do all these messages impact the child’s thinking and emotional state? Children may disengage from their parents and family due to the dysfunctional dynamics from the messages. Strengthening self-awareness is the first step towards raising healthy generations of adults.

This presentation will discuss seven key parenting skills designed to enhance closeness with one’s children. This presenter will also discuss the messages children receive from society, peers, and the media. Appropriate parenting interactions will be demonstrated.

Learning Objectives:
  1. Participants will be able to identify 3 dysfunctional childhood messages.
  2. Participants will be able to identify 7 key parenting skills to enhance closeness with one’s children.
  3. Participants will gain knowledge of 3 appropriate parenting tools.

Substance Abuse Volatility Connected to Childhood Dynamics

Childhood has a lasting effect on individuals as adults. If children don’t feel loved by their parents, they stop loving themselves. Dysfunctional childhoods create defensiveness and fragmentation of one’s self. Individuals stop trusting people for their emotional pain and turn to addiction. Due to fragmentation, addiction can occur as a misguided solution to feel whole.

This presentation will focus on addiction and the family system. It will define family roles and the dynamics in the family structure. The focus will be given to social influences that contribute to addiction and ways to interact in healthy supportive ways.

Learning Objectives:
  1. Participants will be able to define fragmentation.
  2. Participants will be able to define family roles in an addicted family system.
  3. Participants will be able to identify 3 ways social influences contribute to addiction.
  4. Participants will be able to identify 3 ways to interact in healthy ways within an addicted system.