The Inner Wounds of Justin Bieber – Thomas Gagliano

The Inner Wounds of Justin Bieber

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I never met Justin Bieber so I can’t say I know him personally. What I do well is recognize the insides of someone who suffers from a wound created from abandonment. Like I was, Justin Bieber is fragmented. This means his insides and outside don’t match. He has the world at his fingertips, but internally there is a little boy screaming for help. As I often say in my book,  his cry is, “Please help me, but don’t get too close.” When a child is physically or mentally abandoned, a very painful wound is created. Children are ego centric. This means when a parent physically or mentally abandons them, the child unfortunately blames themselves. Why aren’t my parents paying attention to me, what is wrong with me? A wound of defectiveness develops.

Even when the remaining parent does their job the child still feels devaluated. When parents divorce or separate it is important for them to keep reinforcing a message to their children that it’s not their child’s fault. Sometimes abandonment feelings can emerge when parents work all the time, not realizing the negative perception of self that the child is developing. If this wound isn’t addressed and treated it may lay dormant waiting until the person is old enough to act out their pain. They may act out this pain by bullying, or in self destructive addictive ways or act in this pain by isolation and becoming targets to bullies.

Generally the person, and their family, will try to deny or repress this wound, even manipulate the truth concerning this pain. Unfortunately they will pay a high price for this denial later in life. When they become old enough to drink, drive, and do other things the need to medicate or distract this pain, through destructive actions, comes to fruition.

Justin Bieber needs to speak to someone who hears what he is NOT saying. When he finds this person he will do everything in his power to push them away, protecting that wound, not allowing anyone to see it. I know this because I was a successful business man, had the love of family, appeared to have everything, yet sabotaged my happiness. My problem was I had that feeling of defectiveness as well. I was a bully as a kid wanting to hurt others the way I was hurting inside.

What happened to me and what I believe is happening to Justin Bieber is the development of what I call “DESTRUCTIVE ENTITLEMENT”, wanting the world to pay the bill for what happened to him in childhood. This is where the person gives themselves permission to do whatever they want regardless of the pain it causes themselves or others. All his money and power feeds into this destructive entitlement. Since this is an internal problem all the external remedies, money, power, and fame will not serve as a cure. Also, a person that has a wound of abandonment has a greater chance of finding the wrong people as destructive attachments are created. They also begin to sabotage their intimacy with those who truly care for them. They either become too needy or they treat others as objects, fearing emotional attachment because they don’t want to be abandoned again.

I needed to fix what was broken inside of me by allowing those who knew how I felt on the insides to take my hand and walk me through the pain of abandonment. When I did this I then decided to give my children what my father couldn’t give me, A SAFE PLACE TO SHARE MY FEELINGS WHATEVER THEY MIGHT BE. I started to facilitate groups in my house, and in schools, free of charge, helping those heal their childhood wounds. I hope Justin Bieber finds that place in his life.

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