The Need to Control Others – Thomas Gagliano

The Need to Control Others

Permission to Make Mistakes
January 30, 2012
Long Term Emotional Issues Related to Bullies and Their Victims
August 15, 2012
Permission to Make Mistakes
January 30, 2012
Long Term Emotional Issues Related to Bullies and Their Victims
August 15, 2012

bullyWhy do some of us feel the need to control the actions of others? Many of our behaviors in adulthood are created from the messages handed down to us in childhood. If a child grows up in an environment where he believes he must control the actions of others in order to feel safe then control is linked to survival. If an action is linked to survival then this action becomes incorporated deep within the person’s belief system. In reality, a child can’t control his environment but if there is chaos in the family system the child begins to believe if he doesn’t control others someone could get hurt because someone can get hurt. Perception and reality get distorted here. Whether this belief is imagined or real the outcome produces an adult who believes he needs to control others in order for things to go right in his life. The problem is this learned behavior in childhood, which is linked to survival, is not a popular behavior to those around them in adulthood.

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